Music has always been a major part of my life and quite frankly, it's my best friend. I'd feel
As I said in my last post, this is me reflecting and letting others read it. Maybe my random reflection can help others, which I doubt. This is also going to be another long post. Anyway, let's get on with the music/quotes:
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect" ~Perfect, Simple Plan
This song has really been one of my go-to songs for whenever I feel like people (mostly my family) have put so much expectations into me and my life and I really just want to throw them all away. My dad, who is one hell of a wise guy, has always told me that by defining someone by anything can limit them and I guess, as I'm growing older, I can finally understand what he means. People expect me to always be this happy, smart girl and when I fall short of that . . . it's not okay. In reality, what's not okay is people judging others. I really wish I knew why we do that to each other when we all hate it when others do it ourselves. I hate that all human-beings, myself included, are very hypocritical.
"She's beautiful, in her simple little way. She don't have too much to say when she get's mad. She understands. She don't let go of anything, even when the pain gets really bad. I guess I should have been more like that. You had it all for a pretty little while. Somehow you made me smile when I was sad. You took a chance on a bruised and beaten heart and then you realized what you wanted what you had. I guess I should have been more like that. I should have held on to my pride. I should have never let you lie. I guess you got what you deserve. I guess I should have been more like her." ~More Like Her, Miranda Lambert
I think most of us feel like this. I mean, this is about a girl, but clearly, it can relate to anybody. Have you ever felt yourself comparing yourself to someone who seemed more worthy? Better even? Yeah, me too.
"Remember when I cried to you a thousand times? I told you everything, you know my feelings. It never crossed my mind that there would be a time for us to say goodbye, what a big surprise. But I'm not lost, I'm not gone. I haven't forgot . . ."~Remember When, Avril Lavigne
I'm not really going to say much for that one.
"I couldn't tell you why she felt that way, she felt it every day. I couldn't help her, I just watch her make the same mistakes again. What's wrong, what's wrong now? Too many, too many problems. Don't know where she belongs . . . She wants to go home, but nobody's home. It's where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes, broken inside."~Nobody's Home, Avril Lavigne
"Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong,
And no one understands you?
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud,
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like,
When nothing feels all right,
You don't know what it's like,
To be like me...
To be hurt, to feel lost,
To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
And no one's there to save you,
No you don't know what it's like,
Welcome to my life.
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies,
While deep inside you're bleeding?
No you don't know what it's like,
When nothing feels all right,
You don't know what it's like,
To be like me...
To be hurt, to feel lost,
To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
And no one's there to save you,
No you don't know what it's like,
Welcome to my life.
No one ever lied straight to your face,
And no one ever stabbed you in the back,
You might think I'm happy,
But I'm not gonna be okay,
Everybody always gave you what you wanted,
You never had to work it was always there,
You don't know what it's like,
What it's like...
To be hurt, to feel lost,
To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
And no one's there to save you,
No you don't know what it's like,
To be hurt, to feel lost,
To be left out in the dark,
To be kicked when you're down,
To feel like you've been pushed around,
To be on the edge of breaking down,
And no one's there to save you,
No you don't know what it's like,
Welcome to my life . . ."
~Welcome to my Life, Simple Plan
That song, just as a whole was my anthem growing up because I felt so alone and I don't think that's changed much. I stand at Youth Group tonight and here I am feeling like an outcast and I've honestly not sure who to talk to and this is what I'm doing now. I'm going to blog the crap out of how I feel through music and this song is definitely been there when I wanted to cry and cry and cry.
"She loves her mama's lemonade, hates the sound that goodbyes make. She prays one day, she'll find someone to need her. She swears that there's no difference between the lies and compliment, it's all the same if everybody leaves her. And every magazine tells her she's not good enough, the pictures that she sees make her cry. She would change everything, everything just ask her. Caught in the in-between a beautiful disaster. She just needs someone to take her home." ~Beautiful Disaster, Jon Mclaughlin
This song in itself is just so true for a lot of girls these days I think. And it kind of reminds me of this ridiculous surgery. I stare at the mirror and I stare at picture of girls on Facebook or in magazines or in the tabloids and I know that people wanted me to go through all this pain to make me look a little better which honestly killed me inside . . . and as I think about it, it still kind of does. Anyway, that's all I'm going to touch base-on for that song.
"Seems the only one who doesn't see your beauty, is the face mirror looking back at you. You walk around here thinking you're not pretty, but that's not true 'cuz I know you. Hold on baby you're loosing it. The water's high and you're jumping into it and letting go and no one knows . . . that you cry but you don't tell anyone, that you might not be the golden. And you're tied together with a smile but you're coming undone. I guess it's true that love is all you ever wanted 'cause you're giving it away like it's extra change. Hoping it will end up in his pocket but he leaves you out like a penny in the rain. . . "~Tied Together With A Smile, Taylor Swift
Another song that was may anthem during my ages of middle school. It just spoke to me because I could relate to it. It said words I was too afraid to say and it appealed to me, just for that very reason. I knew at that moment, at that low part in my life, I couldn't hold on to my facade.
"I could be mean. I could be angry. You know I could be just like you. I could be fake. I could be stupid. You know I could be just like you. You thought you were standing beside me. You were only in my way. You're wrong if you think that I'll be just like you. You thought you were their to guide me. You were only in my way. You're wrong if you that I'll be just like you. I could be cold. I could be ruthless, you know I could be just like you. I could be weak. I could be senseless. You know I could be just like you." ~Just Like You, Three Days Grace
This is a song I listen to when I'm angry with people who are expecting me to be just like them.
"I thought that I could count on you. I thought that nothing could come between us two. We said as long as we would stick together--we'd be alright, we'd be okay, but I was stupid and you broke me down. I'll never be the same again. So . . . THANK YOU for showing me that best friends cannot be trusted. And THANK YOU for lying to me--the friendship, the good times we had--you can have 'em back." ~Thank You, Simple Plan
Gosh. I listen to this song when I think about some horrible friendships I feel that I've had. It's not that I'm spiteful or anything but goodness gracious,I get angry at myself for letting people treat me like that. It's not okay. Ever.
And yeah . . . I'm going to end that there because this post is already really long. Whew. Hahaha. I got some good emotions out on that post. (: I feel a little better now.
Music . . . man, I'd be dead without it.
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