I have such an original title for blog posts, don't I? Hah. Not.
Okay, just a quick update on what I managed to do today. . .
I had a doctor's appointment, as it seems like I'm going to be having one with him every week, I guess? Anyway, he said that my gums look really good and clean and stuff so I was really, really happy about that! (: He also said that my gums are slowly going over the bone for my teeth and stuff where they made the incisions above my canines so I was really, really happy about that. They also managed to poke me in the face. >:( I didn't like it. Although it was 'necessary'. They wanted to see how much feeling/sensation I was getting back in my face, so they used a piece of paper on both sides (I felt more on my left . . . which I guess kind of makes sense) and then they managed to take a pointy stick (which I'm just going to call a toothpick) and poked me in my cheeks and stuff. It honestly hurt. I was surprised that I could feel anything but my skin felt over sensitive. He also said that my swelling has gone a lot, but obviously, still there. Let's be honest, it won't be completely down for a while. He also said my side profile looks different, so I guess that's good? I don't know. I really hate my nose right now. Since I was born with cleft lip and palate my nose has always been asymmetrical but now I actually see it slanting. Let's make it short and say it brings my self-confidence down a bit. . .
Anyway, moving on . . . today was the same as the last two days, but I did to get miss the first two classes due to a 'wonderful' doctor's appointment, which I guess isn't a big deal. Um, I managed to kind of sing in choir and I skipped a freaking hard Pre-Calc test. Ok. I didn't skip it, I got to 'opt' out of it because I wasn't ready for it . . . yet. **shutters** I also managed to not have to take that World History test so that was kind of nice. It gives me the weekend to study for it. Oh the joy. Um, that's about it. My day was boring. I noticed that I also feel self-conscience about showing any sign of happiness--laughter, smiling. Why? I feel like my smile is beyond stupid right now and I don't know how to smile. That's sounds really sad, but it's true. I feel like people look at me funny when I'm smiling or laughing nowadays and I just don't want to smile anymore, not at school at least. I also don't like talking still and I also found myself feeling pretty lonely. Since my best friend moved, I haven't really had anybody to talk to so now it's really just me and the few 'acquaintances' that I have. I don't feel comfortable talking to anybody about this because they honestly won't get it. They don't understand why this is a big deal for me because they don't know my past or my history when it comes to my braces or my smile or my cleft lip & palate. I do a good job of hiding it.
On that note, I'd just like to say that I'm glad I have this blog to vent because I have nobody else to vent to. I guess I'll be happier later when this is all over. For now, I'm holding on with the amount of sanity and happiness I still have. :P haha.
Hope all of you have a lovely weekend! (:
Being strong is facing the truth and not falling apart when everyone expects you to.
Life is full of challenges, but these challenges are only given to you because God knows your faith is strong enough to get through them.
I am a strong person, but every now and then, I also need someone to take my hand and say everything will be okay.
I am strengthened by my weaknesses. I am brave because of my fears. I am greater because of my mistakes. Life goes on, forget the past.