Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Things Are Looking Up

It was a really nice feeling to wake up this morning with my head feeling cleared, my stomach feeling a little more at normal, and my face not being so swollen. And to add to that, because they did my bone graft from my nose, my nose isn't bleeding so much! (: WOO! HUZZAH!!

It's a great feeling to know that I'm here, still alive, and still fighting. It was even better to know that I'm getting to the point where I can take a shower ON MY OWN and feed MYSELF. Things are beginning to feel like normal again. When I can do things the way I want to do and depend on myself, I'm happiest and I think that's all that matters. 

The pain is still there, but it's definitely lowered, surprisingly. I'm now at a 4/10 but it still annoys me when I have to sneeze with a yucky amount of blood/gauze/drainage coming out of my nose and the pain gets worse, but shockingly, it goes down. I'm pretty happy today. It's really great, actually.

My dizziness is still there, but I'm able to get around on my own. There are moments when I can feel myself kind of dazing off and getting dizzy, but then I'm okay again. And there are moments when I'm exhausted, but  I've just learned that I have to deal with things.

Finally, I've become daunted by the idea of returning to school in my condition. I'm hoping with all my heart that I'm going to be better than I am now. I'm so afraid that people are going to laugh at me with my drooling and the way that I look now. I'm swollen and I look like I just don't care about how I look and obviously, that isn't true. I want people to be supportive but after my friend moved away, I've been so nervous about making new friends in the first place. I'm hoping that I'll come back confident in myself and more so, just optimistic. 

I'm a true believer that God will only put us through things that He believes we can get through. I just have to stay optimistic and believe that things are going to go DOWN hill for now on. 

Now for a quote:

"Someday everything in your life will make perfect sense. So for now laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and remind yourself that everything happens for a reason."

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