Thursday, April 11, 2013

"Back to School, Back to School . . . "

Howdy internet world! (:

So I'm really sorry for those of you waiting to see what my 'back to school' experience was since it seems to me like I'm one of the few people who actually go back to school only a week and a half later post-operation. 

So I'd just like to officially say that I'm not dead and I'm okay. So whoopee for that . . . 

Actually, it wasn't terrible. There wasn't as much as staring as there was a lot of questions for why I missed a freaking week of school, which I guess is understandable. A few people who nice about it, asked about my face and why it was so swollen and I simply responded with, "I had jaw surgery." Let's be honest now, it got old to tell after about the third time. And not only that, a lot of people had follow up questions because some people knew that I was having surgery. They asked how it went. (Fair warning: I'm going to just let out all my pent out frustration from today and yesterday.) HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW HOW IT WENT? I was out for six hours, stupid people! I mean honestly, if I'm alive and I'm back at school, then yes, it went fine. Now if went bad, do you honestly think I would be back after a week from such a major surgery. HELL NO. Geez! 

Okay . . . I'm done. (Maybe . . .) A lot of people had follow up questions after I said I had surgery. Sometimes I would just say I had jaw surgery. Other times I just said I had surgery, period and hopefully they'd understand that I didn't want to talk about it. Nay. The follow up questions tended to be: "What exactly did you have done?" "How long are you going to be numb?" "How long will you not be able to sing in choir?" "How long can you not play in band?" "Are you on a liquid diet?" "How long are you going to be on a liquid diet?" "Does it hurt?" "Did it hurt?" "How long is the recovery time?" and you know, my favorite: "Why did you have this surgery?" (to which I wanted to reply with, 'Oh you know, I really wanted to get corrective jaw surgery). 

I was trying to stay positive and I didn't reply to any of these questions with sarcasm--honest. I just wanted to punch people in the face after a while. I'm a pretty sarcastic person so when people ask stupid questions (and yes, there is such a thing as a 'stupid question) then I want to just roll my eyes and turn around and walk away. I understand a lot of people are curious but you know, if you didn't originally talk to me before the surgery, don't talk to me now just because you noticed a change in my face or my absence at school. It makes no difference to me if you care or not. I mean, of course it's nice to know I was missed by certain people but goodness gracious . . . 

On a physical note, I did get dizzy a lot and I really don't know why I always get dizzy. Does that happen to anybody of you? I get dizzy whenever I have any sudden movement at all and when I leave over or sometimes, it's just random. It's weird for me. Also, I noticed that I do NOT like it whenever anybody is more than a foot close to my head, or even me anymore. I feel the need to put my arms up and push people out of my way because I'm so afraid of the amount of pain I would get if someone were to be reckless and run into me. Two girls were horseplaying in a pretty 'narrow' hallway and they ran into me. I about lost my patience for the day, as it was after school and wanted to tell them to be more careful. Instead, I held up my arms and rolled my eyes to myself and carried on with getting my things together so I could get the heck out of dodge.

On the emotional side of things, I felt kind of happy about getting back to normal but I felt unusually more self-conscience about the swelling I have. I need to post an actual picture when I get the chance but I'm waiting for a while. When I'm at home, I feel okay about my face and I feel comfortable as it's just me and my mom and my two lovely puppies (dogs, whatever) but when I'm surrounded by people, I feel like my face is more swollen than it really is and I have to look in the mirror just to see what I really look like, as I'm still numb. It's a weird feeling. I also feel like a complete and utter idiot when I talk to people due to my splint. I want it out, let's just say that. I sound like I have a really weird lisp and can't pronounce my words because well . . . there's something constantly in my mouth, ha. I hate talking and I actually have to give a presentation in Spanish--yeah, screw that teacher. Blegh. I felt okay but there are times when I just want to give up and cry. It's not me and it bothers me. :-/ 

Now, finally, for the real part . . . school. I missed five days total, as I had a snow day on Tuesday of this week and then came back Wednesday and I am actually more behind than I wanted to be. I have at least two tests to make up, a presentation to make up, all of my math homework to catch up on, book notes for Honors Chem to read and annotate, an in-class essay and multiple choice for AP Language and Comp., and I can't freaking play in band or sing in choir due to the fact I'll make the group sound horrible with my splint and my horrible talking/pronunciation. 

Music is a really big part of my life and it's hard not being able to do that after a while, actually. I mean, I can sing on my own terms but not with the choir. I can play the guitar whenever I please at home and the piano, but I can't play clarinet. It's weird to think about and I think I'm deprived! Blaaaaaah. 

Anyway, that's a semi-quick update! I must go and study for a HUGE World History test so tah-tah-for-now!


  1. The start of this post made me giggle, you've got to love the questions of some people! Well done for making it through the first day of school, the hard park has got to be over now right? :)

    As for dizzyness, i've experienced this today too! And i'm the same with people being too close to my face. I made a whole blog post about it - but I guess its normal to feel so protective I guess? I feel as though I know whats happening alot around me lately, and i'm watching everyone elses move, just incase they get too close!

    Well done again! You're doing great :)


    1. I'm glad I managed to make someone to laugh . . . haha. I was pretty angry when I was writing this as I was thinking about how stupid some people are. Anyway, I guess the toughest part is over. Now I just have to keep doing it over and over again.

      Good! Whew! I was afraid I was the only who gets really dizzy when moving around. It scares me sometimes! And people . . . blegh. I've never liked being touched and now I absolutely loathe it sometimes. I usually am fully alert at school as to who I'm around but now I'm extra careful. I'm afraid something will go terribly wrong and I will end up crying and back in the hospital. Too scary to think about!

      Thank you so much for your support as it means the world to me right now! (:

      I hope your recovery is going smoothly and your little bit of time off is doing you well!